Automated telephone answering service providers get a bad rap these days, and sometimes for good reason. After all, how many of us have fought back expletives as a call handling service robot directed us through a confusing menu? And don’t even get us started on the answering machines that sound like real people for a second.
The truth is though, the telecommunications industry is one of the corner stones of our economy, accounting for 10 billion in returns a year and employing over 24,000 people in the U.S. alone. Furthermore, while it is true that talking to a live person always boosts a company’s customer service ratings, a quality answering service can also aid in customer satisfaction because it can accommodate after hours answering and therefore reach more people more reliably. On the whole, we believe that business telephone answering service providers are woefully taken for granted and are vital to the fabric of our national infrastructure. We would even go so far as to say that a business telephone answering service that provides 24/7 coverage is heroic, and to show you what we mean, we’ve written a few quick “what-if” sketches to illustrate how much easier things would get done if a couple of popular super heroes only had reliable answering services.
1. It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s…Superman’s Business Telephone Answering Service
Wonder Woman: Superman! Superman, pick up!
Machine: Welcome to the main menu. If you are from the planet Krypton, please hang up now. To continue in English, press one.
Wonder Woman: Alright…
Machine: For Superman’s Tri-state office, press two. To report a sinister presence in your area, press three. If this is an emergency, please stay on the line for Superman’s personal attention.
Wonder Woman: This new post-war technology, I swear…
Superman: Diana? What’s the matter?
Wonder Woman: Oh thank the Amazon Queen you answered! Lex Luthor is building a Kryptonite castle at Chernobyl. You need to come quick!
Superman: Egads! I’ll be right over.
2. Batman’s Live Telephone Answering Service
GOTHAM-11:30PM-THE 2ND PRECINCT
Operator:Hello, you’ve reached the Bat Cave, my name is Mary-Ann, how my I direct your call?
Gordon: Oh thank God! I used the bat signal three times but Bruce never showed! We’re overrun with ninja spies over here and we really need him and Alfred to come down and–
Operator: Oh dear, didn’t you get the memo? Bruce doesn’t use the bat signal anymore, it’s far too inefficient. Think if he wasn’t in range, or if Bane imprisoned him again?
Gordon: Well, I suppose you have a point. How soon can he be here?
Operator: Unfortunately he is indisposed in Paris at the moment, but we can send one of his proxy agents over in a jiffy.
Gordon: Proxy agent? I don’t know, we really got used to The Batman–
Operator: We assure you that Robin has been personally mentored by Bruce for the last three years and has Bruce’s full toolkit at his disposal. He’s already on his way.
Gordon: Wow! Thanks a lot Mary-Ann. You’ve been very helpful.
What we’re trying to say is, if you have a service that is highly in demand by the public, consider investing in a business telephone answering service. With over 1,000 companies currently available to choose from, we are sure you will find one that meets your specific needs.